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- TOP TEN REASONS TO WATCH CBS THIS FALL
- --Originally broadcast 9/20/93--
-
- 10. We've stopped using the deadly gamma rays
-
- 9. Programming designed to make your children dull & listless
-
- 8. The shows are funny if you drink enough hard cider
-
- 7. If you play with the vertical hold, you can make Andy Rooney jump
- like a monkey
-
- 6. This year, on a special "60 Minutes", Morley Safer loses his
- virginity
-
- 5. We're Kuralt-a-rific!
-
- 4. We've got a really cool CBS maintenance man who can turn his feet
- all the way around
-
- 3. This year, Angela Lansbury starts murdering people herself
-
- 2. If you don't watch, we'll send Mike Wallace to investigate your ass
-
- 1. It'll help Connie and Maury have a baby!
-
- Letterman, Monday, August 21, 1995
- Copyright Worldwide Pants, Inc. 1995
-